December 29, 2020 my husband was hospitalized with kidney malfunction. Even though he wasn’t on the same floor as the COVID patients, he got infected with the virus. Now they’ve sent him home and I’m learning how to care for a COVID spouse at home.

It was six days from his admission to the hospital that he tested positive for the COVID virus. He wasn’t infected when he went in, because that week I tested negative. This week they released him home even though he still tests positive for COVID.

I don’t know how to take care of a COVID spouse at home and I certainly can’t be sure how to protect myself from getting infected.

It didn’t take me long to get scared and angry. He got the virus at their hospital and now they’re exposing me to it? The sad truth is that here in Arizona, they need the beds for sicker patients with more severe symptoms.

Caring for a COVID Spouse at Home

I am told to “isolate the patient,” but try enforcing that to someone in his own home. We set up separate bedrooms, baths, and offices. We keep the windows and fans open. We wear masks. But the kitchen and TV rooms are shared… And yes, you have to take off the mask to eat. He coughs, then grabs his mask. We’re trying, but there is no way to truly “isolate” in a family.

My story is one of bad news piling on top of bad news. It was horrible to learn my husband’s kidney symptoms were attributed to a rare blood cancer, multiple myeloma. We are still shell-shocked about that. Treatment gets complicated with a COVID-19 virus infection.

He can’t have a PET scan until he tests negative for the virus. So we won’t learn how bad the cancer is until he’s virus-negative. He has to have dialysis three times a week, and there are only a few clinics who take an infected patient.

If you’ve read our book the War on Aging, you know that Rob has been an athlete most his life. He is an example of a fit senior, who still does most of what he’s been doing for the last 65 years. Just weeks ago, Rob was lifting weights every day in the gym. He’s been fighting off the effects of a bad heart attack fifteen years ago by keeping healthy and fit.  The last thing we expected was a cancer diagnosis.

Heart Failure, Kidney Disease, Myeloma, and COVID: What’s Next?

Like everything in life, this ugly surprise has it’s glimmers of hope. At 80, he is escaping the ravages of COVID with only a cough, no fever. His damaged heart held up. There is still hope his kidneys will work again once he gets treatment for the myeloma.

I am worried sick that if I get sick with the COVID virus, I might not be so lucky. I am his only caretaker and he needs me. We need each other.

These are truly difficult times for everyone. My story is mild compared to many. You do what you can and hope for good luck. Monday the state of Arizona opened up vaccination to people over 75; it may be the first time I am glad to be so old.

COVID Vaccination Round One

I am now vaccinated, at least a bit. The vaccine will kick in 10 days later, and I will be 50% protected from COVID on January 21st. Then on February 1st, I’ll get my second vaccination shot. That should be 95% effective.

Next week, January 20th, my husband becomes officially non-contagious. They say he will have antibodies against the virus for the following three months.

So on January 21st, we will be able to touch, hold, hug and kiss each other for the first time since this nightmare began on December 29, 2020. That’s the day I dropped him off at the emergency clinic.

Lessons for Taking Care of a COVID Spouse at Home

Our lessons? Wear a mask, keep your distance, and be aware that a lot of people don’t have symptoms but are contagious. That’s the most dangerous thing about the virus. Perfectly healthy (and usually younger) people can be contagious because they have no symptoms. Wearing masks may seem totally unnecessary.

Pay attention, but try to keep from becoming paranoid. No one wants to get sick. Some of us are more cautious than others. Always look for the positive things that will keep you sane and functioning. For me, I try to focus on the fact that at least he’s home, not cooped up in an isolated room. At least the virus has safe periods and contagious periods. Count the days carefully and don’t expose anyone even if you think you are virus-free. If you can, get tested whenever you have doubts. It’s better than living with fear.

And, as soon as you can, get vaccinated. This isn’t about personal freedoms or political beliefs. It’s about saving humanity from an ugly death alone. You may not care about your health but most of us do. You may be invulnerable, good for you. At least let others be safe.

Do your part. My hope is for sanity to prevail even when health doesn’t. Thanks for reading, it means a lot to be able to share my challenges with you. If I can be helpful, let me know.